deep water creates inner turmoil

I know that it is not the job of anybody on this earth to comfort me. No matter neither how good I was nor how much kindness I offered up to the world. That is the reality that I have come to acknowledge in this lifetime. I may be just a dumb person right now, trying and thinking of ways to pre-occupy myself to further steer away from thinking of the worst. Funny though, it is like I have come to be just one of the personas’ whom I inwardly dislike. The bunch of people who just let things happen for sheer fate in fate. It is like slowly, day by day, I cease to stop struggling from the obstacles hurled my way. It seems that I am already incapable of feeling what is really needed. At times I react to stimuli in my environment in a way not even textbook. Maybe, just maybe… I have become much more insane than I thought.