end of my love story wid him

So now I am to end my story.., after that sem again., things were normal for me., until one day., my bestfriend txtd me and asked for my time., said he was sad and wanted to talk to someone.., but he won’t tell me everything though.., so I figured him out and played a guessing game.., until he had no choice but to tell me that he was TWO-TIMED by his gf.., poor guy., so I comforted him.., and I felt bad for him., he told me he wants to get revenge., and thankfully I dissuaded him., (but maybe I should have just let him get his revenge though?) so once again., back to being close and inseparable., this time.., MUCH closer.., we ate lunch together.., went home together and the likes.., but all this time., I kept my feelings for him in check., until he asked me one day.., if I could wait for him., I said I don’t really wait for anyone., if you get there.., the better.., with matching speech: “you know that you’re the only guy who made me wish to be in a relationship”., he said he really wants to be that guy with whom I would have a relationship with., all he wants is just time.., so I fully allowed myself to fall this time., I trusted him for he’s my bestfriend.., I trusted that he knew what he was doing and won’t allow me to fall if he won’t catch me.., then my family went through a financial and emotional fiasco., I lost sleep, time and energy thinking about family issues that I couldn’t concentrate on my studies., for the first time in my life., I failed in school.., and then., I decided to transfer to a cheaper school so as not to burden my parents that much.., but deep inside I was dying for I won’t be able to see my bestfriend anymore.., I was scared to lose connection with him., but during the first few parts of this sem.., I saw him almost everyday., my mom, my bro, and my friends were wondering aloud what was goin on between us., but I said that we were just bestfriends.., i got closer to him that I was able to meet his barkada and he introduced me to his younger sis.., I thought all was fine., many times I wanted to back out., to cut anything with him., but he said again..,”why stop urself from falling bes? You know that I’m always here for you and you know that I love you too..” so silly me., trusted him more of my heart which I kept safe for so long.., until one night.., everything happened so fast.., he confessed to me that he ain’t over his ex yet., that he still misses his ex., and I just lost it.., I asked him what his plan for us was., he said he didn’t really know., a lot of things and talk happened that night., bottomline: HE refused me…., waaaaaaah it’s seemed as if I was the one who courted Him.., (ego blow #1).., he reasoned that he doesn’t want to hurt me coz he’s not ready for another commitment after his ex (why did he even start something when he has no plans on finishing?) BUT the greatest blow to my egeo was when he said.., “IM AFRAID I MIGHT GET HURT AGAIN”..,that I had the traits of being able to 2 time a guy..,

So that’s my crazy love story., the first time I allowed myself to fall.., I got burned so bad.., but I am not hating him for hurting me., I thank him for allowing me to know that I am capable of loving a person as a whole.., I thank him for breaking me and allowing me to pick up the best pieces of me., I thank him for all the memories we shared and the people we met and friends he introduced to me.., I miss him and d way we used to be as bestfriends., my other friends tell me to just shut him off completely., but I can’t and I won’t.., I don’t want every memory we shared as friends go to waste., I know that I am his loss.., I know how much I can love and I know how loyal I can be.., as the famous song goes.. “though your someone in the world that I’ll always choose to love.., from now on.., you’re only someone that I used to love”